


Picking Up the Pieces

by enigmaticblue



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 10:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel might have saved Sarah, but it’s cold comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picking Up the Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the hc_bingo prompt, "forced to hurt somebody". Spoilers for 7.15, "Chimera".

She doesn’t cry, not at first.

 

Daniel had wanted to be there when Sarah wakes up, and he is. He can read the disbelieving horror in her expression when she sees him, and realizes that she’s in a strange place. He knows the exact moment she figures out that it wasn’t some terrible dream, that she had really done all those things—or that her body had been used to do all those things.

 

Daniel can’t even begin to imagine what Sarah has seen as the host to Osiris, what she had witnessed as a silent passenger in the body that had been stolen by one of Anubis’ most faithful servants. All he can do is hold her, and rock her as she begins to weep, and murmur meaningless reassurances.

 

“I’m going to get you through this,” Daniel promises, but he’s not sure she’ll accept his help.

 

He can’t help but wonder what might have happened if he’d saved her two years ago, when she’d first been taken by Osiris.

 

Daniel has never been able to save the women he loves, either from his own failings or the Goa’uld.

 

Sarah cries into his shoulder, and Daniel rocks her gently, whispering meaningless reassurances. Sha’re would have wept like this, Daniel thinks. Sarah and Sha’re had both been gentle souls, with a core of steel. They could stand up for themselves, and for those they loved, but neither had ever wanted to cause harm where it could be avoided.

 

When Daniel dreams that Sha’re is with him, it’s usually a fantasy—what he would have shown her of Earth if given a chance, what he would have given her. Daniel doesn’t think he would have been able to go back to live among the people of Abydos; even if he’d been able to save Sha’re, Daniel thought he probably would have continued his work with the SGC.

 

Daniel doesn’t know what he wishes for, because there are so many things. He wishes he had never screwed things up with Sarah; he wishes he’d been able to save her two years ago when Osiris had first taken her as a host. Daniel wishes he could have taken Sarah’s place, that he had never unburied the gate on Abydos. He wishes for so many things.

 

“It’s not your fault,” he murmurs as her sobs ease off. “ _It’s not your fault_. I’m sorry I couldn’t free you sooner.”

 

Sarah manages to say, “The things it did. The things it _wanted_ to do.”

 

“You didn’t have a choice,” Daniel assures her. “You weren’t in control. It’s not your fault.”

 

He’ll keep saying it as long as it takes to convince her.

 

When Sarah pulls back, Daniel lets her go. “You’re going to be okay,” he promises.

 

Sarah shakes her head. “It’s been two years,” she protests. “And what I’ve done—” She takes a deep breath. “What _it_ did through me. I’ll have lost my position. How am I supposed to explain my absence?”

 

“You’ll find that the Air Force has explanations for all kinds of things,” Daniel replies with an attempt at humor. “They’ll get you squared away.”

 

“I never thought you’d work for the American military,” Sarah countered, with a tremulous smile.

 

Daniel shrugs, used to such comments by now. “Yeah, well, they’re the only game in town if you want to go off-world.”

 

“I think I’ve had quite enough of that,” Sarah replies.

 

Daniel caresses her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears. “I can’t blame you.”

 

Sarah sniffs and wipes her eyes and nose on her shoulder. “Thanks for your help.”

 

“Whatever you need,” he says sincerely. “I’ll do everything I can for you.”

 

Sarah takes a deep breath and then leans back, breaking all contact. “No offense, Daniel, but I want to put as much distance between myself and this—event as I can.”

 

He feels a brief stab of hurt. “Anything you want,” he says instantly. It’s a trained response, designed to give Sarah the control she hasn’t had in the last couple of years. “Whatever you need, I’ll make sure you get it.”

 

“Thank you, Daniel,” she says, and her voice is cool and distant.

 

Daniel presses his lips to her forehead. “Let the doctors know if you need me,” he says quietly. “They know how to reach me.”

 

“I’ll let the doctor know,” Sarah says. “I’ll talk to you soon, Daniel.”

 

She won’t talk to him at all, Daniel thinks. Over his years in the SGC, Daniel has seen a variety of reactions to the Goa’uld. Some people try to dismiss everything they’ve experienced, fitting in what they remember with what they’ve always believed about the world. Others fight back, adjusting what they believe to what they now knew.

 

Daniel suspects that Sarah will number among the former, that she’ll do everything in her power to forget what Osiris did through her. The Air Force will encourage her to do so, and will probably pay her handsomely to forget the last two years.

 

He wishes it could be different. Daniel wishes he could convince her to join their fight against the Goa’uld, but that’s a decision she’ll have to make for herself. It’s not something he feels comfortable even suggesting.

 

“You’ll let me know if you need anything,” Daniel says quietly.

 

“Of course,” she says, but he knows she’s lying. She won’t come to him. She _might_ go to whatever psychologist the Air Force suggests, but that’s a long shot.

 

Knowing Sarah as he does, Daniel thinks it’s more likely that she’ll bury all memories of the last two years. She’ll forget that she was ever possessed by a Goa’uld; she’ll chalk it all up to a bad dream or a nervous breakdown, and she’ll go back to her life. Maybe Sarah will forget that she’d ever known a Daniel Jackson.

 

Daniel allows himself to press a brief kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you sooner.”

 

“I know,” she says softly. “It’s not your fault.”

 

Daniel smiles. “Thank you.”

 

He couldn’t prevent the Goa’uld from taking Sha’re, or Sarah, but maybe he could prevent the next Goa’uld from taking a host.

 

It’s the best he can do.


End file.
